I am hoping that people here can give me their honest opinions on my situation and keep the snide remarks to a minimum.
As I sit here writing this post, my GF of three years is getting ready to go to work, until 2 weeks ago I thought that job was selling Lingerie to wholesalers and party plans, but now I know that her real job is a prostitute in a brothel.
A bit of background for you, I am a widow of 9 years, I have a teenage daughter, I currently work in IT. I have had 2 serious long term relationship since my wife passed as well as many short term relationships. She married young. she was married for 21 years and had 3 children to her husband relatively late in their relationship, he was not right for her and she was not happy in their relationship for many years. However she stayed with him trying to make it work, but if the love fades it can be hard to bring it back, so they separated.
I was running my own business 3 years ago and that was how I met my current GF, I came to her rescue and changed her flat tyre. We hit it off straight away and became instant friends, after a few months of casual dating we started a physical relationship that quickly turned into a full on relationship. She had been separated for 12 months, the only other relationship she had since was with her former fiancée who was married, she says it was safe and familiar but ultimately she knew he was never going to be long-term. She tells me that she had only slept with 4 men before me and I believe her as it took several months before we started our physical relationship. I am not a bad looking guy and I was used to having sex not long after the second date with a woman.
We have had a great relationship because we are compatible on so many different levels, we fell in love and have been very happy for the last 3 years. We can laugh and talk and for hours on end on any subject and we have similar interests. We generally don't fight, we discuss and have overcome the obstacles that life has thrown at us. Our sex life has been more than awesome, we have made love at least once a night, but usually 2 or 3 times a night since we have known each other, there are no problems in the bedroom at all except maybe for lack of sleep lol.
But nothing is perfect yeah? There have been issues in the past, mainly to do with men. If we went out together with friends and I left her alone for any period of time, she would allow guys to chat her up. She says that she talks to everyone, young, old, male, female, she will talk to anyone who wants to talk with her. She couldn't understand that guys were trying to get in her pants, she is a beautiful woman who has a very hot body, an exotic look and doesn't look her age at all. Personally I think she likes the attention, well who doesn't? but there limits and I felt I was being disrespected, she changed her behaviour and doesn't do that any more. I have had her ex-husband (she is now divorced) and her ex-fiancée chasing her, but she was always open and honest with me and she said that she loved me and only me and that no other man would come between us. I thought that was the case until about two years ago when I found out she had dated a guy she met on a dating site, this guy was everything I am not, young, muscular and very good looking (not that I am old, unfit or ugly). She explained that because our physical relationship was so good, she questioned whether it was really love or just lust that she felt for me and felt that going out with another guy would cement how she felt about me. That guy really liked her and she could have easily have ended our relationship and been free to pursue a relationship with that guy, or any other guy for that matter. But she didn't, at that point I ended the relationship but she convinced me that it was me that she loved and because I loved her, we continued on.
About 18 months ago, my business failed, I was in debt to my eyeballs and I was about to lose my house to the bank. She stood by me and came to my rescue, she paid all my debts off and saved my house.We moved in together. I went back to my old job where the pay isn't fantastic but it was regular money. She wasn't working and had put the majority of her savings into making our house a home. Things were great, we all adjusted really well to the new situation, we had a comfortable lifestyle and everyone was happy. The only problem was that we couldn't financially maintain that lifestyle on my wage alone and her savings were dwindling. Then 5 months ago she got a new job...
It was great that she had found a job that had such flexible hours because she would have to take a lot of time off for school holidays etc, there are not many employers that would put up with that. Our bills were being paid, no-one was chasing us for money, we were in love and everyone was happy. EXCEPT, I knew that there was something going on that she was not telling me about. She would work until 12 or 1 in the morning on Friday nights doing Lingerie parties. I became suspicious, because there were no stories about the parties, if I asked her how her night was she would be vague about the details. Also, she would work on a Sunday or a public holiday saying it was wholesale customers placing phone orders and she was getting commission on the sales. I grew even more and more suspicious, when she told me about a client who had become obsessed with her and had gotten her phone number from one of the other girls and was txting her all the time, telling her her wanted her to leave me and move herself and her children in with him, he had lots of money and he would send her pictures of his swimming pool telling her she could give up work and live with him. She told me she had only seen him once in person , had never been out with him and only dealt with him on the phone. She told me she had dealt with it with her boss and that he was banned from dealing with her again. I figured that guys do not make those sort of offers to woman they have not been intimate with, I thought perhaps she had had an affair. Little did I know he was one of her 'clients'. There were more things that were suss but this is becoming a novel.
Anyway, so I starting digging around. She had told me stories about one of her friends at work who was hooking up with a Sugar Daddy, basically being a prostitute.
So I googled her friend's name and the place where my GF said she worked. I ended up on a brothel website. I looked up the girls bio's and found one that sounded like my GF and it had the same hours she worked. So, I went down to the brothel to make sure it was true. Sure enough it was...
To say I was devastated is an understatement, I didn't eat for 2 days. She told me she had two choices, we were going to run out of money and lose the house, so it was either go on the game or leave me. She couldn't bring herself to leave me so she become a prostitute. She has told me all the details of her job and that the clients are nothing more than $$$ to her. She says she doesn't get off with the clients and it has only made what we have together.
After the shock subsided, I realised I am still very much in love with her (and her with me) and after 5 months our relationship had only grown stronger. Her passion for me has not diminished at all.
So here we are, 2 weeks after knowing. I am doing my best to try and see her job as just that, a job. But it is hard to think about her going to work and having guys paying to have sex with her. She can't give it up right now and the financial strain will destroy our lives. She is making plans to get out and get a normal job but in the meantime, this is my life...
I am so totally in love with her and can't imagine being without her, but it tears me up inside. I am hurt and confused.
Anyway, I want to hear your thoughts, particularly if you have had a similar experience.