+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: How can I still want him after what he did to me??

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2

    Unhappy How can I still want him after what he did to me??

    I have known this guy for a year and we have been good friends, in Mars I developed feelings for him and he had always been into me so everything just happened naturally. We stayed as a fling since we were busy college students and the semester was almost over.

    When we came back to college this August after being apart for 2 and a half month, things started like it used to be between us. But I soon felt that something was off and he was kind of mean to me if we met at parties. He could say hi and give me a hug and then walk around talking to other girls. Then later he would booty call me. We basically turned into friends with benefits. He could say comments like "so stupid having a girlfriend in college" when we talked about his friend dating a girl.
    It was just these small things that I felt constant annoyance and got slightly hurt by some of his comments.

    Then last weekend he didn't write to me at all when both of us were out partying, except during the days then we could talk a little. I felt more and more uneasy about it because both of us have a common friend who we have known for a year as well. They hooked up before him and I did, I always assumed that it was just for fun. They are like copies of each other: crazy ADHD party people. It made sense that they had sex just as friends.

    I had always liked her and we have always gotten along. She was super happy for us during the spring semester when she found out that him and I liked each other and was kind of "half dating". Everything seemed fine.

    But this semester she encouraged me to hook up with others when I complained about him flirting with other girls etc. I didn't get the hint...that she wanted him for herself.

    But so last weekend I found out that they had slept with each other and I got super hurt by it. I felt backstabbed by her and disrespected and betrayed by him.

    I wrote to her and she didn't show any regret, only said that "they were better friends anyways" "him and I wasn't together so it didn't matter". I told her that I was super hurt but she just gave a heartless apology.

    When I wrote to him he apologized a lot and said that he didn't think through just because we weren't exclusive. But I told him that I wanted to at least have ended things before he just went and slept with someone else...especially our friend!

    I know deep deep deep down that he's not into me anymore but then he told me this: "I think I've been mean to you because I subconsciously haven't wanted you to start liking me even more". I got hurt hearing that and said that he didn't have to worry because I didn't like him particularly much after this (lie). He then continues instead to say "It was subconscious, I have been deeply hurt by girls in the past and it is hard for me to open up and to trust now"

    I understand that him saying this could just been a "nice" way of turning me down. I deleted him on snapchat after this and blocked on the rest of social media because I wanted to get over him.

    But it feels impossible! What he did was hurtful and it pains me everyday but I keep wishing that he will write to me and ask for a second chance. How can I get over this?? No other guy is attractive to me or their personalities are boring.

    We always laughed together, could talk, watched movies together, just hung out etc. His friends and roommates really liked me and I liked them. I just don't understand why he would suddenly do this to me.

    I know that he and my ex friend will most likely hookup again and she 100% have feelings for him. But I really can't see them working as a couple, they are too similar and emotionally unavailable as people. That's just my opinion. But I guess you never know.

    Im just very hurt, sad, angry and naively hopeful that he one day will write to me. Please how can I move on???

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    800
    She probably bad mouthed you to him, that is what sneaky bitches do, no one is safe, they have no real female friends, everyone is a stepping stone. I hope you block her off everything and no longer talk to her and he fell for it and her ploys, so he isn't much either, imo. I'd write them both off after that incident.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by topazlight View Post
    She probably bad mouthed you to him, that is what sneaky bitches do, no one is safe, they have no real female friends, everyone is a stepping stone. I hope you block her off everything and no longer talk to her and he fell for it and her ploys, so he isn't much either, imo. I'd write them both off after that incident.
    I don't think she mad mouthed me as all 3 of us know the other one. But I think he freaked out over the fact that I liked him a lot. She can piss off tho and I have deleted both of them from social media. I also wrote to both of them before, confronting them. She got all defensive and he apologized a lot but I'm still hurt and pissed at both of them. Will take me a LONG time to move on.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,034
    Always forget what you give but never forget to forgive. Stay blessed !
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,761
    I don't know what you are bitching about

    If you want to be exclusive then you have to communicate this

    If you yourself say you are"half dating" then that is what you get
    One half of the attention

    Then being hurt because you let that be and even communicate it to others, seems a little bitchy and selfish selffocused and naive to me

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •